Why is it so much easier for us to engage in negative self talk than it is to practice positive self talk? For some reason we really love to beat ourselves up for all kinds of different things during our day instead of being kind and compassionate.
"I'm so stupid", "Ugh I always do this wrong", "I hate my eyebrows", "Maybe there is something wrong with me"
Unfortunately, over the course of our life we've been conditioned to believe that we are not good enough unless we are perfect. Does that ring a bell? If the words "I'm a perfectionist" have ever come out of your mouth than you've placed unrealistic expectations on yourself to be a certain kind of way, otherwise, you're not good enough or worthy of feeling joy. When we don't meet these expectations, of course we will beat ourselves up for them!
Over time, expectations become personal beliefs which result in negative self talk that can manifest in our life in the form of major anxiety, stress, depression, unfulfillment, lack of purpose, disease (dis-ease), and difficulty manifesting our desires.
What do you believe to be true about:
- being successful?
- being a productive person?
- being a good parent?
- being a good spouse, girlfriend, boyfriend?
Are you meeting all of these expectations every day? If not, how does that make you feel? What do you say to yourself?
◼️◾️Do you think this negative self talk is serving you?
◼️◾️Is it empowering you to be a better person or encouraging you to feel bad about yourself and give up on your goals?
◼️◾️Is it empowering you to go after your dreams?
◼️◾️Allowing you to enjoy life for what it is?
◼️◾️Allowing you to feel happy and good about who you are and what you've accomplished so you can live a fulfilled life?
When a self destructive thought comes into your mind ask yourself:
Would I ever say this to my best friend, spouse, boyfriend, parent, child? If the answer is NO, why are you bullying yourself with this talk?
You are your own worst bully and you must learn to slowly be more kind to yourself.
Here are some of the benefits of practicing positive self talk:
- Relief from negative thoughts and feelings of anxiety
- Changes the narrative of the stories you tell yourself so you can raise your vibration and more easily manifest your goals and dreams.
- Boost your mood
- Increases self confidence and feelings of self-worth
- Increased motivation
- More optimistic view on life
- Improves your lifestyle
- Allows you to see your circumstances from a different perspective so you can solve problems
- Increases feelings of inner peace and joy no matter what you're going through
- Builds confidence in your abilities to achieve your goals
It's time to practice positive self talk every day.
1. Use Weekly Affirmations
Whether your inner dialogue is positive or negative, your subconscious mind ultimately accepts your self-talk as TRUTH. Positive Affirmations are a phenomenal way to practice positive self talk and program your subconscious mind with new beliefs that you declare to be true.
- "I can't afford that. I am so broke." -> TRUTH
- "Today really sucks. What else could go wrong. I'm such a failure" -> TRUTH
- "Wow, I'm feeling so abundant today. Everything is always working out for me." -> Also TRUTH
- I love and accept myself every day. -> TRUTH
Affirmations are widely used to reprogram the narrative of your life so you can consciously transform your reality and manifest your goals and dreams.
To make this process super easy for you I'll be providing you with an affirmation in our weekly The Empowered ME Newsletter that goes hand in hand with our weekly teachings. These affirmations are intended to fill your mind with a weekly dose of positivity and make positive self talk a new habit in your life. You can download them to your phone straight from the newsletter, memorize them, share them on your social media, or write them down on sticky notes and repeat them to yourself all day long.
If you're not receiving my weekly newsletters make sure to subscribe below so you don't miss out.
2. Practice Acceptance
It's time to accept yourself for who you are. Not just the good parts of you. But the parts you are not so proud of too. Practicing acceptance can teach you that you are imperfectly perfect and that's all that you need. You don't need to be more to fulfill your own and other people's expectations.
When you notice yourself feeling bad about yourself for whatever reason, practice saying:
🖤I accept myself for _________. I love myself for ____________.
🖤I accept myself for having uneven eyebrows and love myself for it.
🖤I accept myself for not knowing the answer. I love myself for being a work in progress and learning something new every day.
3. Find a picture of yourself when you were a little child and speak to yourself daily as if you are speaking to her.
Within you, there is a little girl that is hurt every time you speak to her negatively.
I want you to see yourself as a little child. Find a picture of yourself when you were little and put it on your desk, bathroom mirror, fridge, or whatever spot feels good to you. Anytime you speak to yourself negatively I want you to imagine yourself speaking to that little child. If you wouldn't say it to her, don't say it at all. Reframe your words until what you're thinking and speaking feels good enough to say to that little child within.
Sending you all the love 💋
xoxo Saba Shojai